the lies, the flagrant GOP bitch slappings
of the American public, the maniacal jabs
straight in eye of truth with the icepick
of utter BS, have just reached some sort of
critical mass, some sort of saturation point
of absurdity and pain and ridiculousness and
you just have to stand up and applaud.
It's almost as if you should cheer the invidiousness,
it is so spectacular, unprecedented, the tower
of lies reaching the point where you, Jaded
and Benumbed American Citizen, are forced
to either recoil and ignore and deny, succumb
and scream and laugh, or, like Bush himself,
just sort of stand there, wide eyed, dumfounded,
blinking hard, looking more blank and confused
than ever, as the unified BushCo front begins
to gloriously unravel.
much we now know, as compiled by the CIA and
the U.N. and U.S. military leaders and Bush's
own teams of experts and scientists and lackeys
and pretty much anyone with any sort of common
sense or astute observation as yet unclouded
and unmisled by the raging masturbatory pro-war
gropings of, say, Fox News. A brief summary:
was all over 9/11. Funny how U.S. intelligence
never found a single connection. Funny how
BushCo knowingly led
the nation on to believe there was one.
Funny how the only role Saddamn actually
played in 9/11 was to watch it unfold on
CNN and exclaim, "Holy Allah with a case
of Cuban cigars, Hashim, a million dinars
says BushCo uses that as an excuse to come
swipe our oil and pump up Halliburton and
build a Starbucks in downtown Baghdad! Prepare
the escape pod!"
was al Qaeda's bitch. See above. Fact
is, U.S. intelligence found no proven link
between Iraq and any recent terrorism threats
against the U.S. Fact is, bin Laden hated
Saddam and denounced
his socialist Baath party as "infidels.".
Fact is, BushCo worked extremely hard to
manipulate the media to make you think the
two were so close they might as well have
been gay lovers. Curiously, this sinister
obfuscation is still not clear to millions
of Americans most of whom tend to live in
Texas and/or anywhere near major military
manufacturing plants. Go figure.
9/11 terrorists? Buncha snarling Iraqis.
Well, no. Most were, in fact, Saudi. There
were no Iraqis at all. Saudi Arabia remains
a desperately important American ally, one
that provides billions in U.S. investment
and hence BushCo loves them and kisses their
rings and doesn't say a peep about the millions
they also give to terrorist cells -- like,
say, those of al Qaeda -- to protect their
oil fields. Shhh.
has millions of drumfuls of scary chemicals
ready at a moment's notice to poison the
entire world and most of EuroDisney.
Not even close. Huge chunks of "proof" of
Iraq's purported chemical-weapons and nuclear-weapons
programs have already
been dismissed by U.N. inspectors and
weapons experts. Saddam did, however, possess
large quantities of bootlegged Britney Spears
posters, which, if dropped on Israel, would
have certainly caused pandemonium if not
outright giggling and many heavy longing
scored uranium from Niger to make nukes.
This is so cutely wrong it's painful. The
document stating this was forged and bogus
knew it and referenced it anyway in
the State of the Union address to help justify
the war, and now he's all flustered and
denying everything and the CIA director
is bumbling in as the fall guy, and oh my
freaking God do they ever think you are
war on Iraq will be as easy as lancing a
boil on Dick Cheney's forehead. Yes!
Instant and painless and easy it will be,
and it will inflict minimal casualties and
we'd be all done in a week and America will
be back home and happily watching "The Bachelorette"
and the world would love us and see how
glorious and righteous we are and everyone
will convert to Christianity and join Promise
Keepers and the 700 Club and never have
sex and we will ban all icky gay people
to Canada. Whee!
not. Never you mind that thousands of
soldiers are to be stationed in Afghanistan
and Iraq "indefinitely," for years
to come. Or that more than half of
the U.S. Army's entire combat force is
bogged down in Iraq right now. Or that
U.S. soldiers are still dying in Iraq
every day, more than 80 so far (33 in
hostile fire), with more
to come, endless guerrilla warfare
possibly requiring even more U.S. troops,
months after BushCo declared the war essentially
over. Whoops. Gosh. Sorry.
Jessica Lynch "rescue" was all-American
heroism at its finest. So cute. The
"rescue" was actually all-American Pentagon
PR bulls** at its finest, a rather embarrassingly
staged hoax so full of overblown stunts
and dumb machismo and awkward twists that
not even Fox News would touch the story
after a while, and they'll run anything.
No wonder the Pentagon has refused to release
the unedited video footage of the "rescue."
oil money will go straight to "liberated"
Iraqi people. Seriously now. Did anyone
really ever believe this, even in their
most drunken and heavily Xanaxed state?
The money, of course, is going straight
into U.S. and U.K. coffers as "payment"
for the Gulf War, with only a fraction going
for "rebuilding." But the bottom line is,
control the oil. We control Iraq's billions.
We do not care who knows it. Special note
from Donny "Beady Eyes" Rumsfeld to all
you people who somehow genuinely believed
we bombed Iraq for the betterment of the
Iraqi people: Tthhppbbbhhhppbb.
my God look just look at all those scary
WMDs. There are no WMDs. There are no
WMDs. There are no WMDs. And there never
were. Two little words from BushCo, straight
to you: Ha-ha, suckers.
list goes on. This list is nearly endless.
The list is growing and expanding and now
threatens to split and explode and spread
like some sort of giant viscous blob and invade
small towns and kill plants and induce women
to slap their hands to their faces and scream
while it slowly steamrolls innocent children
as they innocently stand there in the street
playing innocent Frisbee, innocently.
there are others. There are flagrant lies
and cover-ups and misprisions not even related
to the war, more about increasingly nauseating
domestic issues, major budget crises and unabashed
pro-corporate decisions and anti-gay anti-women
anti-sex fun for the whole terrified white
is, for example, the recent hacking to death
of the EPA's major greenhouse-gas/air-quality
study. There was the (failed) attempt to kill
the Bureau of Labor Statistics report that
tracked factory closings in the U.S. There
is the secret $135 mil in budget moneys set
aside to cram invidious sexless Christian
"abstinence only until marriage" programs
down the throats of jaded American teens and
desperate budget-reamed schools.
was, as Slate so effortlessly delineates,
the regular and rather sneering deep-sixing
of serious economic data and fiscal forecasting
-- much of it generated by Bush's own teams
-- because it didn't match the GOP's makeshift
is massive unemployment. There is the largest
budget deficit in history, now a staggering
billion, over $50 billion more than the
administration predicted just five months
are state and local governments broke to the
point of having to cut back essential services
like police and fire departments, hospitals,
public schools, road maintenance and sewers.
There is Lynne Cheney. 'Nuff said.
appears to be no end. There appears to be
a limitless supply of lies and half-truths
and misinformations BushCo can invent on the
spot, and is now a good time to recall how
Clinton was savaged and vilified and attacked
and impeached because he lied about having
big dumb sex with a rather unappealing intern?
yet here is BushCo, openly and shamelessly
lying about leading this nation into a vile
and petroleum-drunk war, massacring tens of
thousands, killing hundreds of U.S. soldiers
(and counting), gutting the budget, favoring
the rich with useless tax cuts, hiding and
prevaricating and dodging and treated the
First, Fourth, Fifth, Sixth and Eighth Amendments
to the Constitution the way a crusty abusive
Catholic priest treats an altar boy.
is where you have to laugh. This is where
you applaud. Stand up and cheer, for it has
been a masterful performance, a rather unprecedented
series of major cover-ups and well-orchestrated
PR maneuvers and outright fabrications unmatched
in recent history. Hell, the epic scale of
BushCo's atrocities make Clinton's little
oral-sex fixation seem like a jaywalking violation.
now the time? Is this is where we start to
notice how it is all coming unraveled, Bush's
snide web of lies just too flagrant and too
insulting for too long, CIA directors and
intelligence experts and military leaders
and scientists and the like all coming forward
now to refute any number of false BushCo claims,
the chinks in the armor now becoming cracks
and fissures and flubs and stumbles and ultimate
this why impeachment proceedings have yet
to begin in earnest against BushCo? Because
we're just too stunned, too frozen in disbelief
at the mounting mountains of evidence that
we have been duped and misled and lied to
on a scale we can't really begin to assimilate?
Could very well be.
the tower of lies, oh how it teeters, how
it quivers, how it feels oh so ready to fall.
for the author? E-mail
to Mark's deeply skewed, mostly legal Morning
Morford's Notes & Errata column appears
every Wednesday and Friday on SF Gate,
unless it appears on Tuesdays and Thursdays,
which it never does. He also writes the
Morning Fix, a deeply skewed thrice-weekly
e-mail column and newsletter. Subscribe
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