The millionaires are dancing now. The balloons
are falling on John Kerry, John Edwards and their
playing "Johnnie B. Goode" over the loudspeakers.
Democrats are hopping up and down like JFK never
went to Dallas; like Bill Clinton didn't blow
it for us; like there's a chance to bring the
boys home alive; like America can crawl out of
Dick Cheney's bunker and look at the sun again.
has Johnnie Kerry been good so far?
told us tonight about some poor bastard in Ohio
whose job evaporated when his company unbolted
the equipment and sent it south. Hey, Johnnie,
didn't you vote for NAFTA?
applauded when he said the White House should
stop treating teachers and school kids like fugitives
from justice and help them out. But, Johnnie,
didn't you vote for George Bush's "No Child's
Behind Left" assault on public education?
there was that little story meant to show us all
he is a Man for All Seasons, above party politics.
"I broke with many in my own party," he said,
"to vote for a balanced budget, because I thought
it was the right thing to do." No, John, it wasn't.
It was craven political cowardice, going with
the anti-government hysteria that put a knife
into the heart of the programs you cried over
told us the sad story of the poor homeless guy
huddled in front of the White House. Is this the
same John Kerry that voted for Clinton's welfare
"reform"? That put a five-year limit on food stamps,
making child starvation the law of the USA. At
least Ronald Reagan offered ketchup as a vegetable.
made good use of the cash he saved on feeding
the poor. "I fought to put a 100,000 cops on the
street." Hey, thanks, John.
my absolute favorite of the night was when Kerry
told us, "Saying there are weapons of mass destruction
in Iraq doesn't make it so. As President, I will
ask hard questions and demand hard evidence."
as Senator, you didn't. No questions asked: you
just closed your eyes and voted for the lie. I
know it, and you sure as hell know it.
you mentioned a time or two tonight that you served
your country. Got yourself a medal for it, too.
I'm sorry, but shooting a Vietnamese teenager
in the back who was defending his country doesn't
make you a hero.
my buddy Michael Moore and I held a press conference
in Boston. Some joker of a reporter asked Mr.
Fahrenheit about Kerry's gung-ho keep'm-in-Baghdad
position. Michael fudged and fidgeted. I felt
bad for him as he faked the answer, "President
Kerry would not have sent us to war." But as Senator,
got an easier job than Michael: as a journalist
I don't have to defend any candidate. Nevertheless,
I know that my Democratic Party friends will want
to ship me to Guantanamo for asking, "You believe
in Kerry, but does he believe in you?"
comrades, I'm only asking questions, here. I'm
sorry if the answers make you uncomfortable about
your favorite rich guy.
know what you're going to say. "Isn't Bush worse?"
a long shot. Asking if Kerry is as bad as Bush
is like asking if a slap in the face is as painful
as a brick to the skull.
don't you get tired of being slapped around by
privileged politicos on hypocrisy hyper-drive
-- then having to applaud? It can't be pleasant,
no matter how many pretty balloons they drop on
Posted: July 30, 2004