9. The economically challenged McCain was afraid he'd have to count down from 10 in doing Top Ten List.
8. McCain concerned that his campaign would sink in game of "Will it float?"
7. Letterman was planning to mock McCain in "Great Moments in Presidential Candidates' Speeches."
6. Fear of being accused of a "Stupid Palin trick."
5. McCain in grave danger of flunking "Know Your Current Events."
4. "CBS Mailbag" routine likely to turn up fake letters written by McCain campaign workers.
3. McCain could not risk losing debate with Late Night announcer Alan Kalter.
2. Risk of Letterman doing Norm McDonald doing Letterman "Hey McCain, errrr, Ya' Got any GUMS?"
1. McCain excuse of bailing on debate would be "exposed" when Late Night street camera catches McCain entering Broadway strip joint Flash Dancers.