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Mormon Jackass, satire/song lyrics by Zepp Frankly

I want a pasty little Mormon jackass
With a long phony rails and has a conscience that fails
A corny little Mormon jackass
A sight for pity from Salt Lake City
Baloney inside
and he can swallow his pride.

I want a smarmy little Mormon jackass
Adept at the deal and who knows how to steal
I want a sleazy little Mormon jackass
With glad-handing friends, who squeaks when he bends
I just want a fool
To be an establishment tool.

I want a sorry little Mormon jackass
Who don't know shit about working and who is constantly jerking
I want a vicious little Mormon jackass
Who can run over winos in a super stretch limo
With a satisfied sigh
I just want that jackass to run
Once he's on top we all twist in the wind.

I want a fucked up little Mormon jackass
A flipper, a flopper, he's as bent as a copper
A crazy little Mormon jackass
A compulsive storer in church-designed drawers
He'll be a complete whore
Willing to shaft both the rich and the poor.

I want a snotty little Mormon jackass
Who can lube corporate cogs while he airs out his dogs
A stuckup little Mormon jackass
For whatever flies, who weasels and lies
It would be quite a fright
To make this dumb jackass a national blight
To make this dumb jackass a national blight
To make this dumb jackass a national blight
To make this dumb jackass a national blight

With apologies to the late Frank Zappa and his fantastic “Jewish Princess”

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