"Finally, a candidate who can explain the Bush
administration's positions on civil liberties
in the original German."
Bill Maher, on Schwarzenegger running for Governor.
Bush is on a 35-day vacation, and before he
left he had his annual physical, and it turns
out his cholesterol now is lower than his approval
Arnold Schwarzenegger announced he would run
for governor of California. The announcement
was good news for Florida residents who now
live in the second flakiest state in the country."
Arnold was inspired by President Bush, who proved
you can be a successful politician in this country
even if English is your second language."
saying Arnold will get 95% of the vote. At least,
according to his brother, Jeb Schwarzenegger."
Bush has been silent on Schwarzenegger. Of course,
he can't pronounce Schwarzenegger."
how bad California looks to the rest of the
country. People in Florida are laughing at us."
you know, President Bush is on his 29-day vacation,
which is three days longer than last year. Well,
can you blame him? Have you ever been to Crawford,
Texas? You can't squeeze it all in in 26 days."
we're all excited because President Bush has
started his 35-day vacation. He's down there
in Crawford, Texas; and on the first day of
his vacation he went fishing. He didn't find
any fish. But he believes they're there and
that his intelligence is accurate."
good news for the economy: President Bush went
on a month-long vacation."
White House released a videotape of President
Bush meeting with his cabinet, and today Iraqi
officials say they believe the tape is authentic."
United States is putting together a Constitution
now for Iraq. Why don't we just give them ours?
It's served us well for 200 years, and we don't
appear to be using it anymore. So what the hell?"
Bush held his first full press conference in
over five months this week. He announced that
the war on terrorism is continuing, much, much
more work needs to be done on the economy, and
Saddam Hussein has not yet been captured. And
then he said, 'I'm going on vacation for a month.'"
Bush is leaving to go to Crawford, Texas, for
a 35-day working vacation. This should go over
big with all the people taking a can't-get-work
White House says that the vacation in Texas
will give President Bush the chance to unwind.
My question is, when does the guy wind?"
you add up all the time he's spent on the ranch,
he's spent more time in hiding than bin Laden
and Hussein put together."
Bush) used his press conference to come out
very strongly against gay marriage. And then
he said: on a personal note, he apologizes if
he did anything to lead Tony Blair on."
Bush's economic team is now on their Jobs and
Growth bus tour all across America. I think
the only job they created so far is for the
guy driving the bus."
Bush has refused to declassify portions of the
congressional 9/11 reports about the Saudis,
because he says it will help the enemy. Not
Al Qaeda, the Democrats."
the 9/11 commission report, they said that it
was Iran--not Iraq--that was helping Al Qaeda.
So apparently we invaded the wrong country because
of a typo!"