Wimpmaster '73, by Hubert Wilson

W LANDING ON A CARRIER IN 2003,
BUT STILL NO ANSWERS FOR HIS WHEREABOUTS IN EARLY '73!
NOW A W PILOT ACTION FIGURE FOR ALL?
THIS DE FACTO DESERTER SHOWS SUCH GALL!

HIS ALLEGED MILITARY SERVICE RECORD IS NO SHOCK AND AWE,
BUT ONLY COWARDLY ACTIONS TO SHOCK Y'ALL!
DISAPPEARING FOR A YEAR!
JUST WHAT DID HE HAVE TO FEAR?

A '73 TEXAS AIR GUARD FIGURE IS A BETTER REPRESENTATION
OF WHY HE TOOK A YEAR'S VIETNAM WAR VACATION?
JUST WHAT GOES
WITH THAT WHITE POWDER COVERED NOSE?

DO NOT ASK
WHAT'S IN THAT TINY POCKET FLASK?
THOSE LITTLE BLOODSHOT EYES
ARE PART OF THE GUISE?

WITH TWO MEDALS THAT DO NOT EXIST.
THEY ONLY ADD TO THE LONG FAKERY LIST?
HIS '72 SUSPENDED FLYING STATUS WAS NEVER REINSTATED,
SO NOT RED, WHITE, AND BLUE, BUT TO YELLOW HE MUST BE EQUATED?

THAT'S NOT ALL.
THE ANATOMICALLY FIGURE, LIKE W, HAS NOT A SINGLE BALL!

About this poem: FOR SGT.'S DALE BRANDENBURG, TODD MELTON, AND THE OTHER REAL ACTION HEROES OF 2-5-73 LOST IN A BARON 52 MISSION OVER LAOS WHILE 'OTHERS' SHIRKED THEIR DUTIES.