on Vacation, from Bongo
News, June 2, 2004
DC - Al Qaeda plans to attack the United States
in the next few months, top US officials have
warned, citing ³credible intelligence, namely
Administration officials are going to tough
it out and say they will proceed with their
am going to visit the Bahamas this summer,"
said Attorney General John Ashcroft. ³I have
been planning this trip for a while, and am
staying the course. If I do otherwise, the terrorists
will win. I will not be flying commercial, however."
cannot do anything about terrorism this summer,"
said Donald Rumsfeld. "I am planning to go to
Las Vegas with Dick Cheney. Bush wants me to
use the Iraq under-the-table money to decrease
the deficit. Face it, we need the money, and
gambling was the best way into Iraq, so logically
it's the best way out."
Vice President does not seem concerned about
this threat, and is willing to go to Las Vegas
(his secret location) for unspecified reasons.
However, the casino video we obtained from his
earlier visit to Sin City shows Cheney spinning
the dice and yelling, "Come on, Dickie needs
a new pacemaker."
Rice said, "The President will be campaigning
this summer, and will have no time to deal with
this threat. We'll have a National Security
Council meeting, but it will probably be about
the attack comes in August," said the President,
"I'll be at my ranch."