Peace Plan - by
/ comedian, Robin Williams (we make no claims
to knowing this was really written by him)
see a lot of people yelling for peace but I
have not heard of a plan for peace. So, here's
1.) The US will apologize to the world for our
"interference" in their affairs, past & present.
You know, Hitler, Mussolini, Tojo, Noriega,
Milosevic and the rest of those 'good ole boys,'
We will never "interfere" again.
2.) We will withdraw our troops from all over
the world, starting with Germany, South Korea
and the Philippines. They don't want us there.
We would station troops at our borders. No one
sneaking through holes in the fence.
3.) All illegal aliens have 90 days to get their
affairs together and leave. We'll give them
a free trip home. After 90 days the remainder
will be gathered up and deported immediately,
regardless of who or where they are. France
would welcome them.
4.) All future visitors will be thoroughly checked
and limited to 90 days unless given a special
permit. No one from a terrorist nation would
be allowed in. If you don't like it there, change
it yourself and don't hide here. Asylum would
never be available to anyone. We don't need
any more cab drivers or 7-11 cashiers.
5.) No foreign "students" over age 21. The older
ones are the bombers. If they don't attend classes,
they get a "D" and it's back home baby.
6.) The US will make a strong effort to become
self-sufficient energy wise. This will include
developing nonpolluting sources of energy but
will require a temporary drilling of oil in
the Alaskan wilderness. The caribou will have
to cope for a while.
7.) Offer Saudi Arabia and other oil producing
countries $10 a barrel for their oil. If they
don't like it, we go some place else. They can
go somewhere else to sell their production.
(About a week of the wells filling up the storage
sites would be enough.)
8.) If there is a famine or other natural catastrophe
in the world, we will not "interfere." They
can pray to Allah or whomever, for seeds, rain,
cement or whatever they need. Besides most of
what we give them is stolen or given to the
army. The people who need it most get very little,
Ship the UN Headquarters to an isolated island
some place. We don't need the spies and fair
weather friends here. Besides, the building
would make a good homeless shelter or lockup
for illegal aliens.