Bush Wayne - A "Caped Crusader" in a comic book
world - by
Jerry Ghinelli, found on informationclearinghouse,
Deep inside a bunker in an undisclosed location
just outside Washington, DC, the dynamic duo
of Bush Wayne and his trusted confidant, Dick
(Grayson) Cheney, hunker down, plan and execute
their endless struggle to rid the world of freedom-hating
terrorists, insurgents and unpatriotic, immoral
with defeating the evildoers who threaten America,
these Halliburton-executives-by-day, freedom-fighters-by-night
transform into Batman, the Caped Crusader, and
his "trusted" companion -- Robin, the "Grim
they wage a never-ending battle for truth, justice
and the American way.
WMD, Batman, we must defeat the diabolical evildoers
who possess weapons of mass destruction and
threaten our children!"
Robin! We must save the world from evil and
spread democracy to those not quite fortunate
enough to have our fair complexions."
is an 'axis of evil' in the world, Robin, with
terrorists who can turn 'smoking guns into mushroom
nuclear weapons, Batman!"
'nuk-ya-lar,' Robin; proper pronunciation is
apologize, Batman. 'Holy nukyalar' weapons!"
do you remember Saddam, the 'Joker' in our deck
of cards, and his cadre of diabolical villains:
'Chemical Ali,' 'Dr. Germ,' and the comical
course, Batman, the diabolical fiends!?"
you know that those dastardly evildoers possessed
nukyalar, biological and chemical weapons? And
did you know the Joker gassed his own people
with lethal chemicals that we had supplied to
him for 'humanitarian purposes???'"
supplied him the lethal chemicals, Batman? What
an ingrate! Then the Joker invaded his neighbor
after we tricked him that we would not intervene
in his border dispute with Kuwait."
Joke was on the Joker, Batman. Your daddy -
Bush Wayne Sr. - tricked the dope into invading
Kuwait, then really socked it to him after he
took the bait."
Pow! Bombs away!
Batman; simply hilarious. He who laughs last,
laughs best. Take that, Uday and Qusay!"
Robin. Remember, few men die of threats. But
let's not be too harsh, my friend; remember
we are a very forgiving, Christian nation."
apologize, Batman. You are truly a divinely
Robin. Many are called to serve, but only I
was chosen to lead. And I too have been chosen
to bring Osama, the Riddler, and his army of
'ghosts' to justice either 'dead or alive'.
Like the Joker, the Riddler was our loyal freedom
fighter in the 1980s, when he fought with us
to defeat the 'evil empire'. Immediately after
the Cold War ended, he 'warmed' up to Satan
and, like the Joker, went over to the dark side
at the exact same time the evil empire collapsed."
I mean, unholy alliances, Batman!"
the Riddler, prince of darkness, villain of
villainy, produces mysterious videos from his
Rat-cave, carefully crafted with intriguing
riddles that only his army of ghosts can decipher.
So clever is the Riddler that our intelligence
sources are totally stumped by this diabolical
'genius.' Gosh, if I could just figure out in
what Rat-cave the Riddler is hiding, it would
surely end the war on terror and we could go
back to just being full-time oil executives
Batman, Blockbuster has just released another
of the Riddler's videos, titled:
is in Your Own Hands!'"
Get Mayor 'Linseed' Giuliani of Gotham City
on the Batphone, and have him raise the terror
alert to flas! hing red!"
red! Yikes! Wow! Ouch!"
Dick I mean, Robin; these are dangerous times,
which require strong leadership. When the average
citizen on the street is in peril, something
must be done, and quickly. It's hard work, really
hard, but God's work is always hard, and we
have taken an oath to protect and defend the
American people from the Riddler, his network
of evildoers and those who threaten our freedom
Jihad, Batman! God is great!"
an appropriate choice of words, my companion
Batman, you speak so simply and eloquently,
and you are always right...Isn't there anything
you don't know?"
of course, Robin: I don't know how to make mistakes.
You see, my apostle, I get my wisdom from the
Holy Father, who, like thee, I mean, thou, is
infallible. That's precisely how he got to be
God, and that's how I got to be the Caped Crusader?
Haven't you noticed, Robin, that we never lose,
and always escape the vicious ensnarement of
enemies such as the Flip Flopper, his Ketchup
Widow and their evil sidekick, the fat man:
Mr. Freeze, Fahrenheit 32?"
it because we're smarter than they are, Batman?"
course we're smarter, Robin, but mostly it's
because our hearts are pure. Oh, by the way,
Robin, did I mention that those tights you're
wearing are very sexy?"
Batman, and I find that new mask and cape of
yours really quite appealing."
we mustn't waste precious time complimenting
each other, Robin; we must leave the Batcave
and fight evil out there, so we don't have to
fight it in here. Hurry, Robin, fire up the
idea. Yikes, Batman, the Batmobile is low on
gas! Where should we fill up?"
Robin; let's head to Iran."
forget, this time turn sharply to t! he right;
don't make a soft left!"
won't, Batman. I learned that when we got our
international driver's licenses."
we fill up in Iran, we can also remove their
nukyalar weapons, liberate the Iranians from
the axis of evil and bring freedom and democracy
to them as well."
Batman, Iran's a big country. It may be a lot
tougher than defeating Saddam the Joker. I'd
better beam up a Bat-signal and see if Superman
can join our coalition of the willing."
won't be necessary, my friend. Superman has
'retired'; he left the Planet Earth back on
October 10, 2004."
see, Robin, Superman grew tired of fighting
never-ending wars of good versus evil. He grew
tired of this comic book world, where the oppressor
has become the victim; where ignorance parades
as patriotism; where bigotry masquerades as
morality; where hypocrisy is disguised self-righteousness,
and where outrageous lies are naively believed
to be irre! futable truths."
left us, my friend, for the real world."